Come what may....our wedding vows

Oh wedding joy. No really. I'm dreaming for the day it's over here. The current debauch being the list of the last minute little and possibly big things. Where to begin?
Venue - lost our contract. Could have been a total melt down if Bridesmaid SuperHero, BBQ Bear, didn't step in and deliver hard copies and money to the place. Not that they would have dropped us, but they did drop a big "oops I don't see any of your stuff..." on the phone which is enough to make any bride faint.
Dress- Going to see how it looks will all the final pieces on Tuesday. With having no fittings, or alterations... I'm a teensy scared. MeanGirl graciously let me borrow her veil so I'm actually incredibly excited about this.
Drinks- I'm feeling like making it BYOB because my electric is due.
Jewelry- still needed....for everyone. Ive been letting my mom do almost anything she feels like touching or doing, and I think this is one of them. For now this is probably my bridesmaids gifts and honestly, I know all my bridesmaids enough to just send them a really cool package after I'm not scrounging for change. Meatloaf and I are planning on taking Bridesmaid #3 on a birthday celebration for her 21st, so I dont think anyone of them really cares about a gift at the moment. They'd all rather just party. Except one. But she doesnt count. She's gay. literally.
Decorations- I want it gawdy and i want it big!! Actually. Im at my mothers to be her slave and just letting her call the shots. I don't know why I just didn't give it up sooner. So much easier to deal with school, life, and all that other jazz of worries without wedding financials and decisions bogging your brain. I understand that not everything can be done perfectly by me now. I will be happy, and it will be fine. Even if the plates are plastic and the flowers are fake. No one is really going to care come 4 weeks from now. Besides, the should be happy that Im not putting added pressure of their drunk selves dropping serious china plates onto courtyard ground. I just could forsee shattered glass, cut feet and crying 4 year olds. Plastic will do after that vision.

But it's the vows. The vows I have no clue on. Where to start? How to state it? How to be sappy and sentimental without wanting to make myself barf. Will I cry? Will I giggle nervously the entire time? (yes.)
So how do I write these and actually make sense to everyone else or even not sound like a sap? gaahhhh Its so hard! I can't even bring myself to type about it! I spent the entire day swimming to think about it and it just ended up making me so tired Im not thinking about it today.

~M