Thursday was a pretty big day in my life. Probably one of the biggest. I finally gave birth to my daughter, K. I know everyone says it, so I'll just jump on board with the cliche.....my life has changed. It's changed in so many ways. All I can do is be reminded that some errors are little miracles, and that's sometimes the boost you need when you are feeling really low on faith. I was already going to once a week appointments, but the Friday before the n.p wanted me to have a quick ultrasound check on fluids and baby size. "Felt small" she said, but I'm a small girl so it's probably nothing. I get the check up and the tech says I was fine and sends me on my way. I went for my full term appointment on Thursday morning, and who brings me to the back? The ultrasound tech.
Confusion started to set in because why was I getting another? I'm at the 37 week mark. Mister was out of town as of the day or two before and I dislike getting ultrasounds without him. It feels like sneaking a peek at a Christmas present. Sometimes I'm not the greatest judge of character. I tend to think pessimistic ally about everyone. But, I knew this tech wasn't telling me anything for a reason because she reads like a book. Still, she changes subjects and asks me about my husband and how we met, when we got marrrrrried....etc... And then sends me to the room for the doctor visit.
At this point I decided if it was something they would tell me and I have to just calm the F down. Turns out, my doctor had no idea I was getting an ultrasound, but had they not, my body wasn't giving them any other signs that in fact, my fluids were in the ready-to-deliver zone. There was no way I wasn't ending the day without meeting Ms. K. I'd love to tell you I was jumping for joy. I wasn't. My husband was gone for another week and a half and all I want was to just see his face when I gave birth to our first baby. However I'm proud of myself for handling it nicely for someone that was sitting there alone talking about why my body just hid signals from me. I felt betrayed by my own body for what felt like the billionth time, once, I walked around on a bro ken foot for 2 years. 2 YEARS! How does my body just take that? I promise you it wasn't all stubbornness although that could of had a lot to do with it. Nonetheless I made my calls to my husband and family members I knew would have to drive a while, but being induced is supposed to take forever right? You think. But when baby makes a decision, she made her decision. Making the agreement for mister to get an evening flight was good so he could finish what he needed and not have flight problems considering where he was, but it did also cause him to miss the actual birth.
I was originally placed on pitocin around 11:30, water broken at noonish, and was sitting around talking with friends and the select family members. My original thought was to never get an epidural unless my husband saw me at my wits end and we called it, but he wasn't there and I didn't want to be dillusional if I couldn't hold out and I wanted to also comprehend when he did arrive. I did a lot of my decision making when I was able to kick everyone out and be alone. I love my family, but some members are pushed on me and its not good if I had to be in a focused mind. This is where I'm proud of myself. I couldn't of handled the day better in my own head. In my head I was just focusing on my husband coming home and having a healthy daughter. I didn't even notice some of the things going on in the room. Except when my friend Ellen told my aunt that "we've all seen a little period blood or blood when we first have sex....." (What?!?)
I was only checked twice before my epidural. Once at the doctors, and once with the breaking of my water. The next time I was checked was around 5:50-6:00pm and I was already dilated and ready to push. Baby K arrived at.......6:42pm. We didn't even really have the stirrups up until the last two pushes.
My husband arrived at 11:30 or so, the airport being only 15 minutes away, I'm sure he would have run there. I loved the look on his face. I loved that the first time she actually opened both eyes and studied an outline was his. I can't help but stare at them both when he holds her now, even a week later. He's the best support I'll ever have and I'm so thankful that even though he wasn't there, he still was able to be my biggest comfort, supporter, and go to man. I know we are in for sleepless nights and he has to deal with the sudden loose cannon of emotions I am, but we wouldn't have it any other way that someone placed an ultrasound check on my chart. I'll have to find out who that was and thank them from preventing what could have been a really bad ending.
Of course I'll use this to post pictures of baby. Hopefully now I can keep my update promises.
